The Gerasene Demoniac

I'm deeply enjoying reading Mark. The proof of Jesus' authority as God is so blatant. So fulfilling to my but weak intellect.

The story of the Gerasene Demoniac (Mark 5) has always intrigued me, but for the past week, I read and reread it, and can't get enough.

So it appears that while "THEY" (the disciples' boat as well as others) had been sailing to Gerasene, Jesus himself is the only one to step out of the boat, for obvious reasons. This guy is a nut. A dangerous nut. Ain't nobody gonna try to take him on.... except Jesus.

The man lived in the tombs. naked. He could not be bound with CHAINS because he broke them. He screamed and gashed himself with stones. This man was in horrendous torment.

This story brings about many questions in my mind.
Question 1:

How does a person allow unclean spirits to enter them?

v. 9 says the name was Legion because there were many spirits. Enough to "fill" a heard of 2000 swine. How does a person allow, not only one but 2 thousand unclean spirits? Who gives the permission for this to happen?

Jetting back to v. 7, the unclean spirits speak

"What business do we have with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore you by God, do not torment me?"

Question 2:

What does Legion mean by "I implore you BY GOD?" Is he asking permission from the Father at that point?

Question 3: Legion is asking (v. 10) not to be sent out of the country. What country? What does this mean?

So after all these questions arise, (anyone please feel free to give me your insight on this stuff.), what happens to the man is beautiful.

It's apparent that when the disciples and other boatloads of people saw what had happened, they felt it safe to get a closer look. They found that the man was clothed. Jesus restored his dignity. They found him conversing with Jesus. Man, I wonder what they were saying! I mean, what would you say to someone who rescued you from years of self-inflicted torment and shame?

What DO we say to someone who has rescued us from years of self-inflicted torment and shame?

We say, with the restored man, "please don't leave our presence, Jesus!" "Let us go everywhere with You!"

Advent 2008

I am overwhelmed tonight by the Advent Season. So many years, it has passed by me, but not tonight.

I am consumed with a desire for our coming King. I am happy to be here in this place between His first coming which fulfilled every prophecy, every promise made of Him, and His second coming – which I wait for with eager and assured hope.

I think of the nation of Israel, their oppression, their wandering, their realization that they are not yet what they long to be. And THEN – their Messiah. He really did come. Though many did not see or understand, He in all truth, came for the redemption of His people whom He would call His own.

I am happy tonight to be here in eager expectation of His coming, knowing that He has once, and a thousand times over kept His promise.

I am happy to look back on the last 10 years of my life and realize where I would be without the love and company of my dear Lord.

I am happy to know that this hole in my heart that can only be filled by the full presence of the Lord, will one day be sealed up in His coming.

My sin creeps up on my so quickly, - I long for the day when I will see clearly, my Lord face to face.

Praise be to Jesus. May we your people be driven by your promise to come and restore our very beings to unity with You. May we case ourselves away from our comfort and consumption of the things of this world.

Lord Jesus, we simply cannot wait much longer for the consumation of a full union with You. Come quickly, and sustain us until that day. We wait with Joy and promise.

4 things

1. I am sickened today by manipulation and dishonesty I see all around me.

2. that must mean I have a truckload of the same stored up in my heart.

3. time to get down to business.

4. thanks be to God.

Recovery of Purpose.

I awoke this morning with a strange detachment. I felt alone. purposeless. empty. I thought about all the things that have in the past few days made me feel fulfilled. or the company I've been with that has kept me from aloneness. Or the things that I've been a part of that have given me a purpose. Even thoughts of them brought me no comfort.

I turned to the word of God. For as Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, where would we go? You alone have the words of eternal life".

I read Mark. In it, I saw Jesus. His actions, His words, His purpose. His company. I saw that He came to restore humanity to the Father where all these things are found. I saw that He proved well the authority He had to do this - in every situation.

I again found the purpose, the company, and the fulfillment of my life in being justified by the life and death of Jesus Christ.

I today have a renewed vision for the company, actions, and purpose in the life being lived out in me daily.

It is so distressing to realize how many different things I have been finding myself in, and then so freeing to find there is only one that is true. Praise to Jesus.

Autumn Kids

a poem, maybe a hymn

Come oh weary soul to Jesus
who has bid your heart renew.
Cast your sins upon the tree
where the Savior bled for you.

See the glory of the Father
shining true in sacrifice.
Join in worship pure in heart
For He has bought you at this price.



Come oh weary soul to Jesus
tired and worn amidst your strife.
Throw your rags of work aside
Give to him your very life.

For into a heart of flesh
He has meld the hardest stone.
Jesus' yoke upon your back
will but ease your heavy load.



Here see pain produce its strength
Here for fruitful ends tears fall.
As you journey without home
Find His Word appease home's call.

For the joy was set before him
to endure His piercing cross
May we just to taste his friendship
count it joy to suffer loss.



Oh what joy to be a family
Taken out of life alone
All as one in Christ we liveth
Oh what joy to be His own.

In His death, we have been buried,
In His resurrection, raised
So for now, and lasting ever
From our lives shall come forth praise.

Hello Old Friends

I took a road trip to see some old friends this weekend. On the way there, after finishing the first tape of the Silmarillion, I lost my place in the tapes and turned on the radio. I heard "Love Shack" at least 3 times before arriving.

There are 4 of us girls who have a rotating letter to one another. It is a letter that somewhat models Paul's letters to his churches. They are meant to challenge one another in the faith and spur one another on. Since we all moved to different corners of the U.S. we decided to meet once a year. This was our first annual meeting. And it was magical.

Two husbands were joined in the company for some of the time.
We cooked and ate together, were outdoors, laughed more than anything, and discussed those things in our hearts which are quieted by everyday life. There is some unspoken comfort that comes from people who have known you a long time. The longer you know a person, the less need you have to impress each other. The main purpose is just to be together. In that, we are reminded of who we are and whose we are.

The Wow Riven was our bedtime story. I would like to read it again, because I was drifting in and out of sleep. But it is a beautiful portrayal of a heart broken in death in order to find the beauty of what the world ridicules. May we now awaken ourselves to the ridiculous - that which speaks more truth and bears more meaning than we can find in our worldly beautified slumber. And may the return of Christ be ever our one pursuit, giving significance to the time in which we live.

The Full Moon

Few evenings are as perfect as this one.

It's October.

I stepped out onto the back porch to find friends - the kind of friends that flood you with love and affection and an outpouring of spiritual truth.
There was champagne ( is that spelled right?). Ben, your pipe was being passed around the table used and admired.
The moon was almost full, and the fire pit was stoked by Katherine's years of experience.

There are two situations which drive me to the feet of Jesus.
1) the time in which nothing is right. Everything seems to fall apart. The hopes and dreams I think are right crumble apart while I watch in confusion. These situations remind me that Christ holds all things together. And it becomes obvious that my desires and affections will be fulfilled only in the coming and worship of my dear Lord.

2) The other times are the brief moments where everything seems to fall into place. Like this evening. Hearts connect, joy is present among all. Pleasure without sin. The beauty of nature and conversation directs our attention to the creator. And I realize again that Christ holds all things together, and am joyously awaiting the time this will last forever. The curtain will be drawn and I will be shocked and surprised at how much I had been missing all along.

Praise to Jesus who will one day reign present with us fully in all His glory.

Thanks to Luke Groce for exhorting words from Colossians.

rain

Today was a perfect day for rain.

My roomate and I were musing the other day the strange phenomenon that the weather of autumn somehow seems to make some of us melancholy emotional types come alive, get creative, cry a little, become nostaligic, mourn regrets....etc.

On top of feeling slightly fluish, and a bit hazy, a few tough things happened today. Not a bad enough day to make me want to dig a hole, just a day filled with the things of life. A day that reminds me of the nearness of the Lord despite the troubles of this age.

Exhausted at the realization of my inadequacy, I lay myself down for a little nap and woke up to the constant sound of rain. That which I am always so thankful for, but especially today. Because we need it here for our crops, But also because we need it as a reminder that we have not been forgotten. That our sin has been washed away in the death of Christ.

Just as I cannot summon the rain to pour down, I cannot speak the fulfillment of my desires into existence. I am wholy dependent on the dear Lord's goodness, will, and actions. He will care for me in whatever way He sees fit. My prayer is that I grow in trust that the rain will come at a perfect time to bear fruit in my life.

All praise to the Lord, Jesus Christ who has made my friendship with God possible. And thank you for the rain.

current life and future glory

I've decided to stay in Louisville. About a month ago after fighting to get free from this city, I surrendered. I'm here, I'm staying put.... for this season. I first applied for a job in Canada. After months of being (almost assured) of the position, I lost. Then I applied for countless jobs back in Manhattan (including a meter reading job. What was I thinking). Nothing turned up. After a visit from my parents, I began thinking about the blessings I have here. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew and niece, good friends, and a tremendous church that challenges me to serve and express my love of community, missions, and theology. My job is great. I work with countless internationals who are a delight to be around. All things considered, I am determined at this point not to give up on wilderness adventure dreams! But for now, life is very good. The struggle through this last lost and floundering year has only magnified the faithfulness of God and his will that I be made holy.
What a joy it is to be in the process of being conformed to His image. A painful joy at times.

I'm trying to memorize the first chapter of Romans right now. Verse 6 (I think) speaks of our call to bring about obedience to the faith among all Gentiles. Is it not one of the most humbling and honored tasks we could be given? To see to it that the faith that has been passed down to us of old be cherished and diligently obeyed. Let it be so in my life! Let it be so in your life! Let it be so among all Gentiles and all Jews! And may Jesus make his swift return that we may be found in his likeness.

Jesus, we are joyfully tired of these bodies of sin, and delight in the hope that your kingdom will reign someday.

The End of June

This is a photo taken of the God's people marching around the walls of the city of Jericho. Okay. look closely and you will see the wall, the city and the people who inhabit the town. They are all too happy.

This is Gabriel. My nephew. He has stolen my heart. He is 2. His life has brought me great joy these last few months. Through potty training, bedtime rituals, and ear kisses, I can hardly stop smiling.

Gabriel knows every word to the very theological hymn, "How Firm a Foundation".

I have several favorite sayings of his.

(looking up) "I can see my soul up there. I can grab it" (grabbing at the air).

(singing to the tune of GOD IS SO GOOD) "I Love the Pope". Where did he get that?

My all time favorite, "Gabriel disobeyed Aunt Evie. But Aunt Evie disobeyed God!"

As if I needed a 2 year old to remind me of my disobedience. Sometimes I do.

I would like to talk about the sermon this morning. It was Romans 8:38.

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So one reason we have been given the scriptures, is so that we can go back and remember them. Anytime we forget. Which is frequent.

Paul says, do not forget. Here. if it isn't enough that angels and demons can't separate you from God's love (if you are In Christ Jesus), I'll talk about the present circumstances. Whatever you're going through right now. Yes, it's hard, but can it separate you from God's love? NO.

Well, what about the future? What about all I fear will happen or won't happen? Paul says no. NO THING. But what about if I don't feel that way? Doesn't matter. Convince yourself otherwise. Be convinced along with Paul that it's the truth. God LOVES YOU. Why? Because of the precious death of Jesus Christ.

What about anything else you might be thinking of? Your nagging insecurities. Your lonliness. Your failures. The pressures on you? The people you're responsible for? The people you've hurt? The people who've hurt you? Rising gas prices. Your failure as a responsible adult? Your house that's too small. Your unjustified need for a bigger house. Your thoughts, Yourself. No. You cannot separate you from the love of Christ. NO THING can.

Where does that put us? In a place where we think before we feel. We feel deeply and passionately and affectionately. But we think first. We think about the truth that Jesus Christ has placed our souls in a right place. And then we challenge ourselves to see how magnificent our God is.

It was a good sermon.

Unwavering Faith

We're going through Romans at church. This week we heard about Abraham's example to us of UNWAVERING faith (Romans 4). Really looking at Abraham's life and the trust he put in God of the promise to be made a father to many nations, we see several times where he WAVERED (Genesis 12-25). But as his faith fully matured, he was ready to believe, obey, and ultimately honor God whatever the cost. This is our example of unwavering faith. What I took away from this sermon, is the fact that we as Christians go through cycles of times where everything is stripped away, in order for us to look directly to God. Those good blessings that he gives us are hidden for a time, so that we may look to his face and his heart, and not at what his hands can give us. This becomes the maturing of our faith. Even though during those times, we ourselves insist that our faith is failing and decreasing.

If Abraham is considered by the greatest scriptural scholar of all time (Paul) to be our example of unwavering faith, that must mean that the maturing of our faith is a process, and that when I find my faith lacking, I must look to the heart of God and know that he is doing a good work.
I'm in a time of abundant "daylight" blessing right now. And I can see the good work that God was doing in me during the dark night. It is my challenge now, to remember and meditate on God's promises. His heart and his face.
Be encouraged if you're in a time where the promises of God seem impossible, that our certainty in the will of God is less important to him than our trust in him. That our "sight" is not a part of our faith right now. That the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the foundation of this faith. And that like Abraham's life, our lives exist for the glory and honor of God for generations to come, not just for ourselves.

So here's 1 Peter 3:1-8
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Exerpt from a Letter to a Fellow Barista

Work's going good. I LOVE IT. I think I like it way better than anyone else who's there. But nevertheless, I love it. I love being a barista. I don't know why, but I think it's the best day job anyone could ever have.

I mean, you start everyone's day off. You have the potential to start their day off really good. You get to make cool things with milk and fruit and coffee, and laugh at people for paying WAY too much for it. And you get to listen to rad music all day and dance to it if you want, all in the name of enthusiasm. You get to rush around like a chicken with its head cut off. It's so fun.

And have you ever realized how COOL people think it is to be a Barista. I mean, it's glorified food service, but deep down, people really respect you! They look up to you. They say things like "man, I could never remember the names of all those drinks". And you laugh inside because you know that they're doctors and lawyers and stock brokers and they really COULD remember the names of all those drinks if they didn't have anything better to do than get a job at Starbucks. But, when they take that long-awaited gulp of their daily drug, in their eyes, you see a dependence, a deep gratitude for the person who ever so skillfully heats their milk and sloshes a little coffee in it. Throw a grid of carmel on top, and you're an "angel" or a "sweetheart" or "THE BEST". People marvel at the delicacy. But have you ever really tasted a latte and thought "that's good"? Blah. Disgusting.

But friend, if the world wants their latte, the world will HAVE their latte. If the world wants to pay 5 dollars a day for it, to keep me and you alive, then let them! And let them make up silly little nicknames for their favorite coffee friends. "I drink a decaf grande 3/4 Soy, 1/4 skim 2 pump sugar free toasted tonail no foam your mom's extra hot and skinny latte. But only Evie can make mine right". Yes, people can be silly sometimes, but I love the customers. They are the essence of the job. The people you serve are always the ones you fall in love with. And I LOVE SERVING COFFEE. At Starbucks, At the Bistro in Kansas, ... wherever it is.
I LOVE it. People around the globe take pride and joy in their jobs. Coffee Jobs are the same. People LOVE to make coffee.

Better Times

Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote. I have a new job and my brother and his family moved to town. It's amazing how much difference a couple of circumstances can make in my outlook on life. I think the Dark Night Time is over.