Well, I named this blog Blue Tones, simply because I love the color blue in all its shades. Not because I want to write about sad things. There is something deep and beautiful about it. I love colors because they really cannot be described. Blue is Blue. It's different from any other color. And it's my favorite. But they day would come when I would get the blues, and that day is today.
So my mama's sick. Has been for a couple weeks straight. Could be serious - could not be. We'll find out more Monday. She has had a really rough go of it this year.
January 08 began with Grandma almost dying. Then Grandpa did die. Then came a bunch of bull with the IRS that was between them and my brother and I - but mom had to deal with it. ALL YEAR LONG. It recently ended with my mom indebted 10,000.00.
So my mom hasn't had it easy. And she's taken it well. But it's taking it's toll.
She called crying yesterday and I simply couldn't find the words to offer her hope. I know it's there, but I didn't know what to say. I couldn't really tell her it would get better. I couldn't really say anything encouraging. My only response was to cry too.
The reality of my belief becomes obvious in trials. My belief in a Gospel that requires our suffering becomes difficult to preach to someone else, when I've had it fairly easy. And it becomes even more difficult to preach when I don't think it's fair.
So I now see it time to shut my mouth. To seek humility. To be faced with the things I think we all deserve and crucify them. To take on the life of Christ and believe that ALL THINGS come from a good and just God who is the essence of love. - Who in his death, provided for our greatest need and in that provides for our every need. I write these things to tell myself the truth.
I go now, to seek a change of heart.
Friday, January 23, 2009
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1 comment:
Speaking as one who has by no means had the worst of life's sufferings, but has certainly had her share at a young age... I can remind you that your beliefs are not in vain, and to keep pressing on.
God is a good and wonderful God through cancer, rape, homelessness, death, betrayal of friends or family, anything and everything that we could think of - He remains good.
I am keeping you guarded closely in my prayers, friend.
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